New Zealand Trip: A Thorough Rundown

Posted: Dec 1, 2009

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We are now happy to present the final of three episodes of the NZ Trilogy. New Zealand is a beautiful country, and the trip was certainly an exciting and amazing opportunity.

 

Instead of giving you the standard run-down on the trip, I’ll tell you a few memories that stood out.

 

1.) The Internet:

           

Internet is a modern tool that every developed nation should have. New Zealand has Internet, but I would hardly call it that. There are two things that account for the inferiority of New Zealand Internet. First of all, the Internet has no “global roaming capabilities”. This means Ichat, Facebook chat, and most FTP programs wont work from most places in New Zealand. This strikes me as quite interesting. After doing some basic research, I discovered that www means World Wide Web. World information.  Not local. That’s what we Americans like to call a newspaper. Secondly, there is a limit to how much Internet you can use per month. 11 Gigabytes of Internet costs 100 dollars a month. 22 Gigs is 200. At Starbucks, you buy a 5-dollar card that gives you 160 mbs of Internet. Nothing like spending 5 dollars to watch 3 youtube videos. After only 6 days, Tom and I had spent a combined total of more than 75 dollars on Internet. Lovely.

 

If you ever wonder what its like trying to use the Internet in New Zealand, you must watch the South Park episode entitled “Over Logging” (season 11). Then you will truly appreciate our struggles.

  

2.) Road Safety:

 

We are now in the twenty first century, and many people drive automobiles. Don’t get me wrong, everyone in New Zealand drives. The roads, however, are the problem. Imagine driving up a steep mountainside; the roads twist and turn dangerously, and there’s no pavement, only slippery mud. That’s fine, until you realize there are no guardrails. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, so let me demonstrate:

That looks like a fun ride down

Driving off the edge of this would be lovely as well.

If all goes well and you make it to the top, you still have to step out into a parking lot full of mud. That’s grand. Melted snow plus dirt= mud. I don’t know how they didn’t figure that one out. Lets also not forget the infamous One Lane New Zealand Bridge:

Architecture at its finest

 

3.) Grammar: 

New Zealanders speak English. There accent is different than Americans and they sometimes are very difficult to understand.  It’s not the accent though that’s difficult; it’s the sentence structure. Let me give you an example:

 

            Person 1: How are you doing?

            Person 2: Sweet as.

           

Sweet as what? Sugar? Ice cream? Spices? This is what we like to call a sentence fragment. The sentence is clearly only two words long; it is not complete.

 

Incorrect

Other examples that confuse me: “Prawn”= A dumb person. Does that mean New Zealanders eat dumb people? “She’ll be rights” (pronounced (like the name) Shelby, then rights after). I don’t know who Shelby is, or why the thing that will be right is always feminine, but this doesn’t make any sense either. Finally there’s the infamous greeting of “how you going”. How are you going? That makes a little more sense, but it’s still strange.  How should I respond? By car, by boat, by train? Unbelievable.

  4.) The Scenery:

           

Once we gained a better understanding of the local dialect, we also learned to drive on the left side of the road. After accomplishing this major task we were able to explore some of the mountains and national parks. Little to say, they were absolutely magnificent. Fjordland, Hast Pass, and the West Coast are all certainly worth the drive.

Lake Wanaka Sunset

Lake Marian

The West Coast After Hast Pass.

5.) Swine Flu:

On day four Tom came down with a mean case of the swine. The local ski patrol didn’t seem to have a clue how to help out, so it was up to us to come up with a solution. Subway was the answer.

 

Normally in New Zealand coffee is expensive, running at over 3 dollars a cup. However, Subway had a great deal running at the moment: 2:50 for all you can drink. What better way to combat the fatigue of the swine than with excessive amounts of caffeine? After 5 cups each we were ripping.

 

At Subway, deep in the midst of a swine outbreak.

 

 6.) Butter Chicken:

Wanaka has some of the best butter chicken in the world. 9 New Zealand Dollars for a large plate. All day everyday butter chicken.

 7.) Ketchup:

Why does everybody charge for ketchup? Goddamn merchants. Do you charge for salt as well?

 8.) Penguins:

Arguably the best animal in the world. New Zealand’s coasts are full of them as well. Tom didn’t see any, but I did. Haha.

 9.) Henrik’s 18^th Birthday: 

Henrik had his 18^th birthday down under. It was very fun. Tom bought him apple juice and I bought him some sparkling cider. Then we played scrabble. It was very nice.

Henrik’s brother and friends were nice enough to bake him a cake. Thanks! 

 

 

10.) Henrik’s Packing: Henrik brought 14 pairs of Oakley goggles with him down to New Zealand. I found that quite amusing.

 

 

 Standard day: Henrik puts on a dope pair of Oakley’s, puts another on his arm, and brings ten with him in the car.

 

11.) Skiing

 

Finally, there was the skiing. For those who haven’t skied New Zealand, it’s certainly something you have to try. The mountains are beautiful, and all the resorts have really fun parks.  Snowpark in particular was a super legit mountain. One of the best vibes of any resort we’ve skied.

Henrik shredding Snowpark. 

 

To wrap everything up, here is the final of three edits of the NZ trilogy:

  

 

Special thanks to Torte at Snowpark, Nadia at Cadrona, and Anna at the Remarkables for hooking it up with tickets.  For a complete album of the trip, check out the photos section of the website.

 

-Napes